Really, there is nothing wrong about having your opinions but I admit that I can be the kind of person who most sensitive people would certainly hate when they first meet me in my argumentative state. 

Of course, if you have met me in person when you didn’t cross the line, I could be the sweetest person on Earth that you meet too.

Just like what my close friends once told me that I look/sound like someone damn kp (difficult), but in the end they love me to bits (hahahaha!) because I don’t fake my thoughts with them or in fact, with anyone.

I do hear stories about how people said things about me behind my back and find it really disappointing that they make sound like voicing out my own opinions is wrong. The feminism and the blogger blood in me usually will not back down and it scares people sometimes when I “almost” get into arguments with people who made insensitive comments but that is only when I feel strongly about certain topics.

The thing is… I would never be the one who would be quiet with my thoughts. If I find something offensive or differs from my beliefs, I would most likely let the other party understand that I don’t agree before they start forcing their ideas into me instead of choosing a soft approach of “persuding” me with logical and reasonable ideas. Maybe I am argumentative, maybe I am too agressive, maybe the frequency just isn’t right. Whatever it is, don’t we all need to communicate?

Without voicing out my own opinions, how would you understand me? Without voicing out your own opinions, how would I understand you? There’s always reasons behind everyone’s beliefs and principles, isn’t it? So tell me, what is wrong with having your own opinions?

We cannot and definitely would not be always agreeing to everything everyone says. It is extremely perplexing how people would keep quiet about something extremely offensive to them and then badmouth about the person who made that offensive comment. The latter would not even realize they have offended the silent backstabbers.

But, well… no matter what you do, say or act, there is always someone out there who wants to say something about it (behind your back) and usually, these people would act all friendly in front of you but tends to put you down in a bad light when they “talk” (excessively gossipy) about you behind your back.

The weird thing is, these people tend to copy what you do too. You might say it is just coincidences but a little too much of a coincidence to believe. -.-

It especially frustrates me when there’s a certain person who gossip everything/everyone to everyone and anyone. To the point that I cannot even take people like that seriously as a friend, since there isn’t trust in this at all after you have seen how influential these gossips are towards others. Why don’t we just be more true to our words and actions in front of people?

Not that I didn’t know how these toxic friends are, it’s just that when you hear your best friends warning you about a particular person due to reasons, you will still find it disappointing of what these toxic friends could do. No one likes to hear the bad side of oneself, especially when it is judgmental comments from a toxic friend.

You know that kind of bitchy vibe that the gossipmongers give out which you will not even want to stay close to them? Those whiny and always-talking-about-someone-behind-their-backs talks… makes you wonder if this person ever speak ill of you behind your back too. Well, indeed. They do.

Those who gossips to you will gossip about you. Remember that. 

What these people said might not be harmful untrue rumors but they certainly have a way to brainwash people into thinking that they are the nice ones while you are someone who have a mental/attitude/whatever problem. Isn’t it unfair that their twisted version of yourself roots in other friends’ minds too?

It is not as if they are a bad person or they cannot be a true friend, but they just won’t be “your kind” true friend.

I thought I might be able to let go this issue and just treat it as just their “personality” is how it is. There are even times when I think I would never talk to this person again. Yes, there are contradicting moments.

They acts as if they were your “best” friends and you just feel obliged to be talking on friendly terms with them even though you might or might not like them. They brainwashed so many people into thinking that they are nice that you could not even speak your mind of how hurtful their actions were to you.

Yes, there are times when you just have to put on your most professional PR smile and socialize. Nothing wrong about that, especially when you need/want/have to work under the same environment or have the same group of friends amiably.

It is funny how people like that would mindlessly “badmouth” about you in front of your closest friends and make things awkward for the latter. I mean like… are they jealous of your die-hard friendships and trying to pull your friends towards their side? But don’t they know that good friends will warn each other about toxic people like this?

Hahaha. Which reminds me! There’s this ex-classmate of mine deleted me and my friend off facebook because I told my friend what this person said about her and wish that there’s solutions/trashing out session (out of goodwill to make things better, but it got worse -.-”). Sigh. Me and my stupid mouth.

So yeah, I wouldn’t want that to happen to myself even though the situation is almost similar (like how my friend told me about this person who talks behind my back). It just seems like a matter too petty to make a big fuss out of it.

I do hope that my close friends would start reminding me again to be wary about this kind of “friends” whenever I start being stupid in believing in them again though. It is extremely important to me that my friends are honest with me since it is really for my own good to stay away from these toxic friends.

Maybe that’s why I am always envious (maybe jealous) of people who are good with PR-ing, they could trick everyone into thinking that they are the nicest person in this world and still make tonnes of friends despite being the devil that is controlling everyone’s mind. *imitates a reaper*

But I am glad that all my close friends have the ability to communicate well with me on a personal AND intellectual basis. Thankful for the great friends I have who are real and sincere in being nice to people; thankful for being so lucky to meet these awesome and fun friends; thankful for having the trust between all of us.

So yeah, let’s put on that smile that let the world know that we are stronger and better than that.

Have a big heart but never ever let people step all over you. 日久見人心, only time will tell.